


Grasping Some Sort Of Gravity

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU Where Levi is living a semi-great life, despite his past. He has a proper family now, with his older Sister Hanji & his sort-of Dad Erwin. He's almost forgotten everything Eren put him through on his birthday three years before. Once Eren, his former "something", starts waltzing his way back into his life, also bringing memories along with him, things become comforting but also rough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day

I woke up to the sound of the alarm going off louder than the voice of God yelling through my room, in the introduction that greeted me like a backstage pass to a Suicide Silence concert. After a few moments of desperately hoping that it _wasn't my alarm_ and that _this just wasn't the motherfucking god damn day_ , I finally decided that it was in fact Decmeber 20th, my Birth date, the day I absolutely dreaded more than leaving my room.

Now, I'm not the typical raised-in-the-ghetto kid, or the usual yeah-I-got-a-shitty-life. Some people dare to call me an emo-hipster-wannabe, but that's not the case, because only half of that stereotypical bullshit is true. Yeah, I occasionally wear beanies and cardigans, and yeah, I occasionally feel like downing a bottle of Xanax and a nice warm glass of acid, but it's not like I show it. I don't really show anything. Keeping everything bottled up and having a never-ending resting bitch face isn't even my hobby, or even my greatest accomplishment. My Father told me one day that I was probably born with it, and had got it from my Mother's side, and then reminded me of just how shitty my Mother's side was. Not that I actually cared about his opinion in the least, though. But even before the day that Jeager fucked up my life that was _just_ getting better, I pushed people away. I was completely able of accomplishing such a task, for my brain had always skimmed past emotions like it was nothing at all. I knew how to react, I knew how it felt, oh shit how I knew what everything felt like. I felt it and then I threw it aside, it had always been my way of surviving. Dealing with it as a kid had made me immune to it now. My 8th Grade Guidance Counsellor said that I was such a smart kid, for every other kid I knew or grew up with was either dead or majorly fucked up, she said I was the only one who had ever evolved from something greater than ruin.

If only she saw the inside of my brain.

In my mind I laughed at such thoughts, but on the outside, I groaned and sat up ever so painfully, for the warmth of my sweet, beautiful bed restrained me from moving. My limbs were as stiff as logs and I found it hard to even open my eyes.

"Good Morning Levi!" Hanji sang, flipping over the blankets as I finally found the strength to sit up. She tried hugging me so suddenly, and earned a face push that nearly dipped her off of the bed. _My bed, to be exact._

"What did I tell you about sleeping in my bed, four-eyes?" I mumbled, avoiding all eye contact with her and reaching for my phone more than nervously. I quickly pulled it off of my bedstand and swung back into my spot. Before I checked my phone, I noticed her awfully quiet atmosphere and looked over at her, and she was frowning while looking at the phone in my hands.

"You know I sleep with you the night before your Birthday, to your birthday. It's a tradition now." She gave a light smile and looked back up at me. It took me a moment before I answered her, I had to choose my words wisely for this one. She's referring to the night three years ago, I know it, because I've lived with her since I was 4 1/2, and after I came ruined that night, she'd slept with me ever since. She calls it protection and so do I, deep inside, but the first thing that pops into mind when she dickasses around like that is called nonsense and you know, _is pushed aside_. I chose the less dangerous route, the words that would hurt her feelings less, and mumbled just enough for her to hear.

"More like an annoyance." I said, and looked down at the phone in my hand. Did he text me the line again, this year? Or had the pattern stopped? Eren had always been too unpredictable for me to handle, so It wouldn't have been odd if he didn't do it this year. I took a deep exhale before clicking the home button on my phone, and I was, like every year since then, just as much as acquainted with the famous line of,

_Eren: "Happy Birthday <3 I'm Sorry" **11:59pm**_

And for some reason, I was relieved. But for another, I was still feeling like trash about it. Hanji suddenly pressed her forehead against my shoulder, and I didn't budge at all. I suddenly regretted letting her do something so openly without consequences, but then again, she is my sister, right? Stuff like this is normal for siblings..even though we're not siblings at all, in reality. Our blood is entirely different.

"I told him to stop, Levi. I think it's wrong, and I don't want this to bring back memories, but I think-"

"It's fine, stop worrying shithead." I stopped her mid-sentence and just at the right time, if she had spoken any further she would've made me want to commit with her ponytail. Hanji sighed and turned her head to the side and closed her eyes so abruptly, I thought she had died so quickly that Snow White couldn't compare-but she's fine, I think. I also think, that this certain sister of mine fell asleep on me, as well. How does a being like _me_ comfort her so easily? I've barely done anything for her in her lifetime of knowing me, other than beat up that one ex boyfriend who tried stealing her money out of her wallet. But despite that, over all, she's always picked me up when I fell down, and Eren would too...but that was after everything was said and done. He was like the encore nobody expected, he came out of the shadows as if he was watching the entire time and then decided that when everyone was gone, he'd reach out. Like he didn't want to be known. And that was exactly it, too. That was _one_ of the reasons why I stay away from him now.

"Levi..." Hanji started. I severely thought she was asleep, and my eyes went wide, looking down at her. Her eyes were closed and everything, but I guess she really had something to say.

"What now? I thought you were asleep." I mumbled, unlocking my phone and going through so many notifications. I rarely checked social media anymore, I've only been spending my days on drawing and sleeping. Hanji laughed and got off my shoulder.

"You'd kill me if I did, well, haha, now that I think about it, telling you what i'm about to tell you will just set you off, anyways."

"Spit it out."

"I'm having a party tonight, for your Birthday." she looked to the side at me and smiled, trying so hard not to laugh. I stared at her in awe mixed with anger and set my phone down before I violently murdered her with it.

I knew she wasn't kidding, either. This was like her. Almost exactly. I sighed before answering her.

"How many people?"

"I originally invited like 50 people, but 50 people also know 50 people, so.." She smiled big and let out an awkward chuckle, before dodging a quick attack I activated with my pillow. She got off the bed quickly and ducked on the side of the bed. From there, she slowly started making her way to the door.

"Calm down Levi, it's gonna be fun, I swear!" She kept laughing out, putting her hands protectively in front of her face, for things were thrown at her viciously. Hanji hosts parties all the time, I mean, Erwin was always gone on a business trip, he rarely ever came home anyways, so it's nothing different. But the party is for _me_ , and it's the celebration of a _shitty ass day_ , and everyone's looking forward to _me_ and just _me_. This night is for _me_. No, no no no no no no.

"Cancel it immediately, Hanji."

"Levi I can't, it's already been done!" She giggles and dodges a large paint brush thrown in her direction. I scoff and got up, flinging everything that was on me to the side. She immediately made her way out of my room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Fucking great, just fucking great. A birthday party. what am I, 7?

I sighed and lied back on my bed face first, enjoying the scent of the freshly washed sheets, enjoying the lingering warmth. I feel that I probably wont get to feel this feeling tonight, I'm aiming to not feel anything at all, to be honest. I'm hoping the alcohol makes me numb head to toe, I have the aching feeling of wanting to sink into oblivion tonight. Something just tells me that I'll just be a wreck tonight, and it's not my own self, either. It's something far more powerful. Temptation. You aren't born with such a thing and it doesn't linger in your veins either. It's something that comes into your life that you need to control. I swear it is it's own power source, like good an evil, and you just need to choose whatever it is you need to survive. You have to choose what's good and bad for yourself, that's just how the world works. And I choose to use hard liquor as a source of the middle, something that i'm usually classified in. Neither good or bad. The middle.

I wonder how Eren feels, now that i'm gone.

Is he on the good side, now?

Is he on the bad side?

Or is he like me?

Stuck.

 

 


	2. R is for Reconcilliation, Recovery, and Rave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP I'M FINALLY DONE THIS CHAPTER AFTER A GAZILLION TIMES OF IT BEING DELETED AND REDONE im so sorry here's the chapter hopw you guys like it :")

After Hanji left my room, a heavy feeling cascaded my chest like a blanket. I wasn't sure if It was the memories of Eren, because for the rest of the day, I started to think about him a lot.

Erwin said that that feeling was a longing feeling for something you want, that you can't have. And what you want is wrapped around your chest tightly by rope, and pulls on it each time it becomes more distant. He said that if it gets too far—so far that you can't reach out or reel it back in, it breaks your heart, and it kills you. He says it leaves you dead but fully alive. He says the word is: "stress"

Of course it's probably stress, but what should I be stressed about? Nothing, but also everything.Hanji says I overthink things, Erwin says I don't think enough.

I think, personally, that my hands are bleeding from scrubbing this counter for so god damn long.

"Levi? I think it's time you stopped—"

"I'm fine." I lied, just snapping back into reality. My hands stung with the smell of bleach lingering over it, and my pale skin was tinged red. I sighed and tossed the cloth back into the sink, and ran my hands under cool water. Hanji suddenly touched my shoulder, and I jerked in my place.

"What, you racoon? Are you thinking cancelling this party yet?" I mumbled, refraining from pulling my hands from under the water. The feeling somewhat made me feel better.

"Of course I'm not!..." Hanji laughed it off awkwardly, and then I sensed an odd, discomforting tension. Her hand stayed firm on my shoulder until she started talking again.

"I just think I need to tell you something that I haven't told you…" I furrowed my brows at her and she kept chuckling awkwardly in response.

"Spit it out, Hanji." I mumbled. It took her a moment to piece the words together, but then she finally said it. And when she did, I had hoped that she didn't.

"I uhh…accidentally invited Eren."

"Accidentally, huh?" I wasn't afraid of Eren, I was afraid of the thought of seeing him. My feelings about him no matter what overlapped my brain like sugar, and left it high and hyper about him. My memories of him were sweeter than his  touch, but the thought of that night three years ago was an unsighted taste of him that left me unsatisfied.   

"Yes! I swear, I was drunk and I—" I turned around and looked her dead in the eyes, a tired yet deadly look on my face. Her face was stricken with fear and she moved back.

"I swear, this entire thing was a mistake, but I swear nothing will happen to you, I promise! I promise on my Mother's life and on yours Mothers that nothing will happen to you. I'll be watchin you the entire night, like the sister hawk I am!" She proudly but unsurely stated. and I had hoped that she hadn't, because her optimism is the reason I wake up wanting to tear my limbs off one by one.

* * *

 

 And sure enough, being it 2 hours into the terrible ass party it was, nothing had happened. She had been around every corner, and even though she really wanted too—and I mean really wanted to, she knew she couldn't have gotten too wasted, until i plastered myself in my room for the rest of the night. Which I was about to do soon, but the cherry vodka standing on the kitchen island really spoke to me. Maybe it was the suffocating scent of wine and marijuana that made me actually think that the alcohol was talking to me, but I decided that it was my humour and I made my way to the counter. took it, and wiped the top of the bottle. I chugged a bunch of it until my throat reflexed and closed itself up.

I walked around for an hour, talking to every kid I recognized. I, being the antisocial I was, never started the conversation first. It had been like that the first day I met Eren. The night after my Mothers death and the night of my Fathers. I was abandoned at the park when the sun was half under the surface of vision of the land before me, and the sky was darkened with pink, orange and purple clouds painted upon the sky. I had enjoyed the picture until my father mumbled the words, " _don't come back._ " And I guess, those words had ruined my view.

I sat there in a dark green hoodie, ripped up skinny jeans and boots that were too big for me. In fact, I was short for my age (and I still am), so everything was too big for me. I sat on the swings and kicked my legs back and forth, I didn't feel like going up or down, the middle was all I needed. The middle was the safest place for me. Because no matter what, I could never be entirely gone if one half of good or bad was taken away. And I accepted that. But a certain messy-haired boy didn't. "What're you doing?" He said in a squeaky voice, putting his hands on mine and looking down at me with furrowed brows. I swung my head back and looked at him, my hood falling down from overtop of my head. I was not only surprised by him, but also surprised by the fact that I didn't move a millimetre when he touched me. His warmth comforted me, somehow. It's like i was finally grasping some sort of gravity in my world. He was my gravity, and whenever I was lost in my space he helped me down. He held me down in place.

"I'm being lost," I replied to him in a low murmur. I was still starstruck by him. By me.

"Huh? Whaddya mean?"

"I have no place to go to."

"Really? Why not?"

"Nobody wants me, I guess."

"Why not?" And when he asked that, i positioned my head back in the place it was in before. I didn't know.

From then, he stayed with me all night at the park, and when I asked why, he said it was because he was lost too.

 

* * *

 

 

 

After another hour of more drinking, remembering, and talking to people I barely even knew, a suffocating feeling squeezed my lungs and I suddenly gasped for air.

I tried to get more air in the house but it was full, and everywhere felt like a sauna of death. Hanji saw my struggle after a while and she came up behind me. I struggled with her touch at first but then I reminded myself that it's just my sister and that she'll never betray me like Eren did. That was a painfup thing to tell myself.

I guess she guided me outside, because I saw the door open and a night sky close in on me.

"Thanks...." I mumbled, and I saw her give me a worried look before she closed the door. I walked down and leant on a pillar, closing my eyes, crossing my arms.The cool air burnt my cheeks after a while, but severely killed my head ache.

The cold was sort of comforting me, but not in the same way Eren could, and I longed for it, but I knew that the chances of comfort like that were slim. I let the air burn me for comfort for more than five minutes, until I was slightly interrupted by a hot mass of boy heat radiating beside me. For some reason, I didn't move. I simply raised a hand and flung it in some direction. "Leave me be." I sighed and kept my eyes shut. The burning sensation of my stinging eyes being covered was a feeling I was just getting used to.

"Half drunk and half asleep, and you still hate me, huh, Levi?" I paused and my eyes suddenly went wide, and I turned to the side. A chuckle amounted from Eren's smiling lips, and the vibrations were sent through the pillar an onto the cold skin. Goosebumps arose and a shiver cascaded my body.

I couldn't tell him to go away, I couldn't push him. I couldn't harm him at all, mentally or physically. And so I reverted my eyes away from him and looked in the opposite direction.

"Damn right." I mumbled, and he just chuckled from my response. He and I both knew I was lying.

"I'm surprised you answered me, or even looked at me. I've been sending you messages for three years straight and the only way of telling if you cared enough to see them or not was the "seen" sign." He seemed overly happy about something that should've made him upset. And at first, I'd assumed that he'd been alcohol ridden, but as he spoke even more, I didn't sense a pint. I was surprised At her sober self  

"I've said sorry over and over…Levi, are so you distant but never deceiving?" He mumbled, and I looked back up at him. So, had he known all along? That I could brutally murder anyone else in the world but I'd wash his feet in my very own blood? I hadn't wanted him to know, and I hadn't assumed it was obvious, but I guess that my former…something…would know. He knew me best, after all.

"You know I don't like hurting you." Is all I ambled. He sighed and he looked to the side.

"I never feel like hurting you, but I'd throw you in front of me if there was a knife hurdling my way."

"I'd jump in front of it, myself." I said, and hung my head back, leaning on the pillar again. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. He didn't move for another few moments, as if his mouth had been seen shut. You could never keep Eren quiet, no matter what you said or did. I was surprised.

"W-why?!" He stuttered.

"Because the last thing I'd want to feel is your presence behind me, before I'd feel nothing at all." And then again, my mind filled with some sort of confusion. Because I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

_Would I ever escape this feeling in the middle?_

My mind was in a haze as I tried to figure it out. After a while, through the silence that held Eren and I together, I started to remember the last thing Eren told me:

_"Maybe we can just be lost together."_


	3. No Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY MACARONI! Sorry for not updating asap! Stuffs been going on. Mild + extreme smut coming up in previous chapters, just wanted to let you know. Thanks for all kudos and comments, I appreciate all! Xo

My heart was beating a mile a minute as I looked up at Eren. I'd never really imagined Eren so dark, and feeling as belittled as he was feeling. He'd usually been so full of light, he was brighter than the Milky Way floating on my fingertips, and he always had been. A source of light, so I found my way to hold my ground, to grasp my gravity. It was at that one moment I knew that I'd fucked up when I let him go. I'd been more depressed without him than the thoughts and the countless nightmares of what he'd caused. It sounded foolish, even when I repeated it to myself 17 and a half times that night before he spoke again.

"Levi…why do you still treat me so nicely? It's…it's…so unfair!" He basically whined. I inhaled sharply and sighed, rolling my head slightly to the side. I refused to open my eyes, or even look at him for that matter. I couldn't be so paralyzed by his presence, I couldn't relax around his overpowering scent that drove me crazy, and I definitely could not surrender to his innocent provision of death. He definitely brought some alter-personality out in me I didn't choose to posses, and by the end of the day I felt absolutely stripped of my dignity and pride. He broke down all defences around me, I was completely exposed around him, and that terrified me. For some reason I never really minded before, and that's probably the reason for the incident that night years ago.

"Why is it unfair, Eren?" I felt like a mother scolding her child.

"Because—you're so careless of yourself! It's terrible! I'm terrible to you already…"

"Stop beating yourself up for that, you didn't have a choice anyways."

"You tell yourself that, but that's a lie! I did it to protect myself, and—"

"So what? You know I would've told you to spare me for both of us any day, for anything, right? You know I would've wanted you to be untouched before anything else, right? Don't you care about what I want? What I feel? That's what you said, Eren." I still refused to look at him, because I knew his eyes would destroy whatever scraps of self-control I had left.

"That's…true. But then…why would you stay away?"

"Hanji kept me away. I begged my entire soul out that morning to Hanji to go see you, and she wouldn't let me. That was the first time she'd ever yelled at me in her entire life. Everyday she'd remind me that going back to you would be the end of me. I was kept at home for a month, I wasn't even allowed outside. I had doctors and psychiatrists come in and out on regular basis, it was bad enough without you. Slowly I had to fill the empty hole in my chest, with pills and then alcohol, drawing and then music. And then fate led me here. I wonder what we could make out of this?" I slowly opened my eyes to look to the side at Eren, for I felt as if I could be or was comfortable with the thought of being destroyed by his oddly coloured eyes, but I reconnected with the warmth of his body instead of the warmth of his eyes in that millisecond, and I didn't tense one bit at the sting of his touch. His body enveloped over mine and a comforting sadness erupted from the core of my soul, and my arms swung around his barely coping body.

"I still love you, Eren. No matter how far apart we may be, no matter how stupid you may act, no matter what." I whispered, and his hold just got tighter. He shook over me an I swore I shook too, but I was too shaken by the alcohol drinking up my veins to realize or even recognize the feeling. I had no feeling left by this point, Eren had soaked up all of it, and I was left numb.

"I love you too, I love you so much. God—so much, Levi, I fucking love you more than anything in this entire universe. Please, stay close to me, I can't be apart from you anymore."

"Shut up Eren, shut the hell up and just—shut your mouth." I tried to muster out a good comment but my eyes were turning glossy and my knees were becoming weak. I was surprised by the fact that we had been totally undisturbed by anyone or anything around us, it was like our minds were connecting spaces and developing their own nexuses nobody else could destroy, and I was suddenly glad I wasn't grasping some sort of gravity, because gravity was not what I needed, I needed space. I needed his space and mine connected to make a universe of our own. The stars, our memories. The planets were our personalities mixed. And I felt a little more whole, where the heart in my chest was misplaced. We had been exchanging warmth for more than forever out there in the cold, in silence, in comfort. I was stuck in the middle, like usual, and I felt more comfort here than being in a certain place. Eren had only sniffled, and of course I felt his tears stain my exposed nape, but for the time being shared, the tear-stained skin lingering on my neck didn't bother me in the least, my biggest worry of tonight would be sleeping alone tonight, with Eren on my mind. Forgetting about him was a joke as I tried remembering what Hanji had insisted of it in the past, I cackled in my space at the thought. The last thing I remember from that night was kissing Eren goodnight on the cheek, and remembering Hanji standing in the doorway, saying how it was some time early in the morning and that everyone was gone.

 

I woke up instinctively this time, the sunlight bursting through the windows. The only smell I could establish from all the various ones around was the smell of booze, and as I recalled the night before, I'd wondered if a germ party had been held in my room. I thought otherwise as i fluttered my eyes open, looking around. I was stripped down and so comfortably wrapped in my blanket, with my whole room spotless. A certain ting of frost lingered on my toes, and i rubbed them together slightly. I was still tired overall, but I still had the best sleep of my life. I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed my phone off of the charger, a daily routine played out perfectly once again. I turned it on, and oh shit did I have a fuck ton of notifications. It was already 2 in the afternoon, but I stayed in bed for a majority of the day. Hanji didn't bother me once. As I scrolled through massive amounts of stupid selfies taken with massive amounts of people, texted back people who texted me before, and accepted tons of new friend requests, a sudden idea sprung through my mind.

"Meet me at the park by 7:30 :)" I texted Eren. I hadn't forgotten what was felt the night before, and I sure as hell wasn't going to forget it ever again. He texted me back almost immediately with a slight

"Ok love u :)" which followed with a "Love you too."

At 7:30 that evening, I met him at the swings like the first day we met. I looked up at him as his hands enveloped mine almost perfectly. We were the weird kind of "something", now that I thought about it more consistently. We had been considered neither bestfriends nor lovers. We had called ourselves somethings, and we accepted it from there. It still made me wonder, after all. We'd kissed a few times, but it was awkward and we usually did it as a joke. But it always felt so oddly nice, so oddly real. I've always doubted love, even his, but after all i think I'd enjoy his. I'd soak in it, I'd cleanse my rusty soul with it, by now i basically yearned for it, and it was so perfectly fine.

"I miss your smile, Levi."

"What smile?" I glowered at him, and he giggled softly. I nearly laughed openly at such a sound.

"The little 'I'm too cool to smile' grin you make when you're happy. I've seen it a lot, believe it or not. A whole 4 times in the 14 years I've known you."

"Stop being so smile-possessive, Eren. It's just a facial expression."

"It makes me really happy when you smile though. It's sort of like a certification of your happiness."

"Shut up, before I punch you in the head so hard Mikasa will be physically and mentally bruised."

"Don't hurt my sister, you giant bully!" He laughed out. Bopping my nose hard. I glared at him and he laughed one more time.

"So…does all of this mean that we're happy again?"

"Give it time, Eren. It's still hard to erase the past. But don't just assume that I won't live fully in the present, because of it." In exchange for his sudden frown, I gave him one of those hard-to-find grins, and he lit up like a torch. His cheeks burned an admirable red colour and he took his somewhat sweaty hands off of mine, and made his way walking to the entrance of the forest. I whipped my head around and watched him as he refused to look back. I followed him quietly into the darkened forest and was always 3 steps behind him, until he stopped at the edge of a river. He stood there and looked over the landscape, and I was confused as to why. Why this specific spot? What was here that made his heart so calm, so relaxed all of a sudden? I sensed it in the atmosphere around us, revolving like thick smoke but as clear as the air. It was some sense of comforting silence that drifted before us, and it took me a lot of courage to stand beside him. As I did, he looked a me as I watched the landscape before me, and he whispered a slight,

"Happy Birthday. I'm sorry." Before leaning a soft, warm kiss on my lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's a little short! I tried my best. It's hard to write atm. Another chapter will be coming out soon! :3


	4. Thinking about him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tHROWS ANOTHER CHAPTER AT YOU VIOLENTLY* boom shakalaka there you go life is sad and so is my social life

Eren's warmth tickled my nose and my heart slammed heavily against my chest so hard it ached, and my eyebrows furrowed from the odd sensation of his kiss, but then lightened up. It was such a foreign feeling, but I remember it so mildly. The cold made my hands burn with the touch of unsuspected frost, you'd swear it'd be -7°C out, but his simple touch kept me in place, so I thought that maybe it was okay if my hands fell off.

Eren didn't dare pull away, in fact, he kept at the kiss. He deepened it, pulling away and then slamming his stupidly warm lips against mine again. I didn't notice that he was holding my waist until his grip became a burden on my weak bones, but somehow I held myself up anyways. As he pulled away again i fluttered my eyes open and clasped my hand over his mouth, stopping his further plans. He noticed immediately and glared in confusion. He mumbled something into my hand as I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Listen up dork, we can't makeout in the forest. It's dark and you'll probably annoy Mother Nature with your annoying sex vibe." I released my hand from his mouth.

"Annoying sex vibe?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, animals can probably sense your need for sex from a mile away." I grinned accidentally and hoped that he didn't catch it, but he did and smiled back. I mentally slapped myself in the mouth violently, unfortunately it was too late and it didn't matter  

"Well there's always my bedroom…or yours." He leaned in closer.

"You only wish." I mumbled, pushing him away and starting my way down the path. Before I could stick my probably now half-unusable hands in my pockets, Eren grabbed one and yanked it back. I nearly yelped at the small pain that erupted from my shoulder, but instead I groaned softly, the pain pinging through my bones. I turned around and looked up at him, who still held my hand firmly in his grasp. I could see him furrowing his brows under the blanket of now extreme darkness around us, and he rubbed the palm of my hand.

"Why didn't you wear gloves or something? At this rate, your hands are going to fall off!" He reached down and grabbed my other hand, and brought both of them up to him mouth. Cupping both of them in his obviously bigger hands, he blew his hot breath on them and rubbed them. I could feel blood rush to my cheeks and luckily he couldn't notice.

"I just didn't have any…" I looked away and he continued warming them up.

"Erwin is the mayor of this city, he's a world renowned surgeon, owns like 7 hospitals, somehow a bakery, PLUS he's a veteran solider.. What the hell do you mean you don't have any gloves?!" He chuckled out. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"You know I hate going outside. Maybe you should just buy me some, then." I continued avoiding his eyes. He chuckled and kissed the palm of my right hand, then dropped my hands.

"You're so difficult, Levi." Eren mumbled, grabbing my right hand and walking down the path with me. I intertwined our fingers quickly and he gripped my hand harder, but looking down at me. I looked up at him and suddenly my lips felt numb.

"That means that I'm worth it, doesn't it?"

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right."

"I'm in no mood for your smart remarks, Eren."

"You're never in the mood for anything, Levi." He chuckled and nudged my shoulder, and once again I felt the blood rush to my face. I probably had a stupid look on my face, fortunately, the darkness the moon offered saved me big time. For a while we walked, silently, enjoying each other's warmth, hand in hand. It felt like a dream, and when I legitimately told myself that silently I felt like punching myself in the nose, because I knew that I was in deep for Eren, no matter what. It made me feel gross when I thought about it, but for the most part it made me feel a bit better, and I wasn't sure about what.

* * *

 

 

 "Eren we're not—"

"We are."

"No."

"C'mon, just sit on my lap!"

"No. You make me uncomfortable."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Just sit, asshole!" Eren laughed out, grabbing me by the waist and slamming me onto his lap. I struggled for a moment until I gave in and turned myself around, the swing bouncing around mildly as I stuck my legs in between his hips and the chains. I crossed my arms and looked away, and he just eyed me closely, smiling as he held my slumping body up. You could tell he held it in, because he made a few struggled noises before bursting out with laughter.

"What, you brat?"

"You're so cute, Levi. I…I…I can't look away! I can't believe you agreed to this!"

"The things I do to please you." I mumbled angrily, rolling my eyes. He suddenly stopped laughing and just sat smiling. I ignored him and avoided his eye contact, but I still appreciated his comforting warmth. It felt as if nothing ever happened three years ago, as if there was no break of contact. It felt like old times, growing up together. The little shit made me happy since day one, and I still don't know why. He reached up suddenly and grabbed a piece of my hair that hugged my face gracefully, and I didn't flinch like I do to everyone else's touch. I looked up at his turquoise eyes that glowed at me like a nexus in space, and I couldn't stop. He captured me in the universe that was also in his eyes, and I questioned how he got such a large entity stuck in the irises he possessed, but I just skimmed past the thought because I reminded myself never to question such an alienated person, because there was never a solid explanation with him, it just was. Slowly he twirled his index around a piece of hair, and then let it go. He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but his mouth was shut until I looked down.

"Yeah, you do a lot of things for me, eh…" I didn't answer him.

"Since you do so many things for me, I'll start trying to make it up to you, piece by piece. I'll mend what I've torn, until you're patched together again. I'll try to sew some scratches and holes but it'll never be certain. There's always a few rips in the quilt of someones heart, right?" He smiled lightly and looked.. So, starting with that thought, I'll take you out sometime. Whenever you want, wherever you want." As he spoke, there was a lightness in his voice I've only faced a few times. His eyes were dim, now. Calm. The nexus in his eyes stopped twirling so quickly, but I didn't mind, because there was still a hint of the glimmer I adored.

* * *

 

 "Levi! Levi open the door!" I groaned and twisted my body to the side, hoping to cuddle into some sort of warmth. All I felt were cold blankets.

"LEVI!"

"Coming!" I groaned once more before rolling out of bed and answering the door.

"What?" I groaned, sighing and pushing my hair back out of my face. A sigh erupted from the person in front of me. I recognized the sigh, it was one I heard often whenever Erwin came home. I looked up at my sort-of dad and scoffed a small "ah, fuck" to myself before closing my eyes and exhaling slowly. He knows I hate his presence, I'm not sure why he keeps coming back and trying to be friendly. He's always gone, like my biological father, and it's sad to say that my last father was more of a father to me than Erwin. When I thought about it more often, though, I'd conclude that that was a giant ass lie, and that the fact that I for some reason don't really like Erwin is making me lie to myself about it.

"I wanted to talk to you about some…things, that have going on lately." He spoke firmly, his thick eyebrows curving slightly in dissatisfaction. I stuck up my index finger and closed my door, then opened it back up after I slipped on a dark red robe hanging off of the back of my door. I motioned him to come inside and he did, barely but surely fitting through the doorway. He pulled out a chair from my desk and swivelled it around to face me, as I sat on my bed in discomfort.

"To start off, Levi, I just wanted you to know that everything I say after this should not be taken in a wrongful sense, and you should pin nothing on anyone. Got it?"

"Sure. The point of this?"

"Is to assure your safety, Levi." I nearly kicked myself in the jaw, but I was still somewhat curious as to what his mouth had to offer.

"Say what you need to say, then" My legs were crossed and so were my arms, and I held back a yawn that was choking me in hopes to escape. I kept quiet and listened to Erwin quietly.

"You see, Levi. I know about what happened." He started, low and safely. I furrowed my brow, unsure of what he was implying. Many things have happened, and this man over-reacted to waaaay too many little subjects for me to even assume anymore.

"What happened, the night three years ago." And when he mentioned that, I actually felt my heart throb and then stop, and my eyes widen softly. Hanji told him, then? After all these years of keeping it between us and the fucking Internet, plus the fuckasses that caused everything that night, Hanji had told him. I wonder how much? He hadn't been home until two months after it happened, and from there he hadn't suspected a single thing. I had only told him that I was feeling shitty about school, and that's when he gave me the heart to heart talk about stress. But now, now that he knows...what's going to happen now?

"I apologize if that made you uncomfortable, Levi. I'm trying my best to make you understand that it's okay, and that it wasn't your fault. You trusted him, and he betrayed you, you didn't deserve any of that. It was animalistic of them to do such a thing, because you're not a rag doll, you're a human. And I just wanted you to know that your sister and I are very worried for your safety, especially now that you're engaging in whatever sort of contact you're engaging in with Eren. Just know that your sister and I aren't very happy about your choices right now but we can't tell you what you can or cannot do. We just don't want you hurt anymore. Help is always around the corner, with the click of a button, and—" He stopped when he noticed me cringing, focused on the ground and constantly shifting uncomfortably. When he starting bringing up the incident and explaining it more than just leaving it at "the incident" I started to feel the remainders of the memories of the night.

_Sweaty skin on other sweaty skin, the stinging of knives painting a red picture on a cold and shaking canvas, lungs breathing in smoke and the midnight air, with a touch of a deathly fog on the side. Lights flashing, clothes ripping, tugging & pulling away bits and pieces of power one by one with a heart somehow containing a beat so quick you could have enough engine power to fuel a plane trip from Canada to Japan three times & back. Blood rushing to the centre of a sensitive & sweaty forehead, pounding so hard the person taking you from behind could hear it, and let out a somewhat loud chuckle at the sound. _

_Badum,_

_Badum,_

_Badum,_

_Over and over again, with the numbing effect of some foreign drug and the burning sensation of hard liquor down your throat. Don't think about it, don't pay attention to it. Let the lights burn your eyes, let the liquor burn you throat, let the power rip your insides. It'll be over soon enough, it couldn't last forever. That's what I told myself, over and over, at the same pace as my heart beat, but even then I could still remember every little detail as if I'd loved it and never wanted to let it go. It's a cold feeling, deep inside. Remembering it makes my stomach turn, my brain rot. It leaves me with an empty feeling, but a full feeling. I yearned to be in the middle, but complained about it. It was safe, I couldn't have been fully on one side of either good or bad, and I had taken it for granted. The worst feeling, is feeling so full you feel empty, and leaves me questioning Eren silently, with a:_

_Could we be empty together?_


	5. Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -^- my laptop is a dick so it's hard to get chapters done, i'm so sorry.   
> THERES SMUT IN THIS I HOPE YOU NERDS LIKE IT

Are you, are you  
 _Coming to the tree?_  
 _Where I told you to run,_  
 _So we'd both be free._  
 _Strange things did happen here_  
 _No stranger would it be_  
 _If we met at midnight_  
 _In the hanging tree._  
  
 _Are you, are you_  
 _Coming to the tree?_  
 _Wear a necklace of rope,_  
 _Side by side with me._ _Strange things did happen here_  
 _No stranger would it be_  
 _If we met at midnight_  
 _In the hanging tree_ -"

I got tapped on the shoulder while I stood in the checkout line patiently, one hand on the cart and one on my hip. Oh, how I hate when people touch me. And my stupid hip hold. I got teased a lot for that. I flinched at the discomforting touch and swung my head around, taking out one of the speakers from my ears. A bright eyed girl stood in front of me with a large smile on her face, and I immediately recognized her face. Her name was Petra, she had eyes that glimmered like auburn diamonds, and every man was after her, even ones out of our highschool. She had a heart od gold, she was the most friendliest woman you'd ever meet, and she always accepted everyone. For some reason, after we became good friends (that slowly drifted apart after a while) she said she was in love with me, and I never quite understood it. After I declined her request, we drifted faster than the preparation of a McDonald's meal, and it never really bother either of us. We had become better friends the month I came back to school after my "therapy", she was the only one I had at the time. She was never as satisfying as Eren, but her presence was still nice to have when I had no one to lean on.

"Levi! Hi! How are you? I haven't seen you in forever!" She squeaked, holding out her arms. I stood frozen for a moment wide eyed, but then got the gist of the situation.

"Hi, Petra. I'm fine."

"Better than being upset, right? Hehe. I'm glad you're doing alright! Hey, what're you doing later?" She asked, a smile still perched on her face. I opened my mouth to speak, but then shut it and looked down, searching for the right words. Her smile dropped and she looked at me upsettingly.

"Does it have something to do with Eren...?" she asked. She had known me almost as well as Eren and Hanji, and knowing that shook me to the bone. I never thought she'd be able to figure something like that out so quickly without knowing a single thing about my present feelings.

"I saw you and him at the party. I was going to talk to you then, but you had this look on your face when he spoke to you, so I didn't really feel like bothering you about it..." I mentally slapped myself after she said that. Of course she was at the party, I should've known.

"Yeah...but if you want we can spend time before I have to go." I said, and her face started lifting up again.

"That sounds great, Levi. I'd love that."

* * *

I sat tensed up at the side of the tree of our old elementary school, Petra's warmth radiating like a heater. Her red coat hood was placed over her head, the fur on the sides making her hair stand up. I pulled my beanie down over my frosted ears, and exhaled heavily before she broke the awkward tension.

"Y'know, Levi, I'm not angry at you for your decisions." That was different from her normal thoughts. She usually stood up proud for what she believed in, and didn't sugarcoat her words. She never levelled her thoughts in the middle of good or bad either, which I found quite odd. I avoided her eyes even though she looked over.

"I'm actually proud of you, for not letting things end like that, even though there was a very bad situation coming in between. I think you did the right thing, for the both of you. Oh man, you're still very awkward, hehe, but you seem happier than you were at the party. When you walked past me, I could tell you were feeling pretty bad about some stuff, you had that 'kill-me-while-I-still-cant-feel' face, you had that face the day you came back to school." She stopped and smiled, shaking her head and looking down. She fiddled with the charm bracelet I gave her for her birthday that year we became good friends, and I was in a little bit of shock, that she still wore it and all.

"I know I never really made you _that_   happy, but I could tell that you weren't that sad after a while. You're so strong, I don't get it. But it's really good, and I'm really proud, and glad to be your friend." I peeked over at her and she smiled, one of those smiles that were genuine. It was only ever rare for her to hide her feelings. I just looked at her in slight disarray as she pushed her hair behind her ear, looking back down.

"Thank you, Petra." I said lowly after a while. I was never good with words, and I hardly ever spoke to begin with, but I noticed that small lines like that made her happy, and that she was settled with getting little words from me.

"Levi...if there's anything you ever need, all you need to do is call me. I'll always be here for you, and I love you."

And...I love you?

I was silent, because anything I could say would be worthless. I felt like such a failure whenever she poured out all of her emotions towards me, because no matter what, I was so silent, so distant in return. I care for her but there was nothing I could do greater that could suffice. She told me she never really minded it, but how could I really believe her?

* * *

 

"You took a while. Where did you run off to?" Hanji said, fixing her glasses while washing a beaker in the kitchen sink. I nearly scoffed at the sight, but decided against it.

"I was with Petra."

"Eh-? Ral?"

"Do you know anyone else named Petra?."

"Did you two make out or something? HAH-It's been hours!"

"I like guys, four-eyes. She wanted to catch up, and I had time to spare. I already deceived her once, I'd feel like a jackass for saying no otherwise."

"You got a heart of gold, little brother. I adore you so." She squeaked, pinching my cheeks until I slapped her off. She helped me put the groceries away, and it took a while until my phone started going off loudly, vibrations going ballistic on my ass. Why do I keep putting my phone in my back pocket anyways? Jesus Christ. I pulled my phone out and looked at the screen, and an alarm I set was just going crazy. At first I thought maybe it was a call, but then I remembered that 1. that wasn't my ringtone anyhow 2. I had an alarm set to remind me of my 'date'. God, did I hate the word date.

"Is that your girlfriend calling you?"

"It's an alarm, you hippo. For my date. With a _boy_."

"Huh? A date?" She looked dumbfounded, her eye twitching slightly. Her grip on the bag of pasta scrunched under her grip.

"Yes. This shouldn't be new for you, sister dearest."

"Is it with Petra?" She looked at me confusingly.

"Are you high?" I asked, cringing more than regularly.

"What?? Hahahaahahaha no! No, of course not. I uh-"

"Get out. Get out of the kitchen."

"Levi-" 

"Get out of the damn kitchen before I make you. And stop smoking so much pot. Shit disturber." I shook my head as she left with her head down, and I sensed her boyfriend Mike in the living room when a laugh echoed through to the kitchen.

After I put all of the groceries away, I hurried upstairs, the time being already 7:13. He'd be coming in less than half an hour. I pulled out the key from my back pocket and unlocked my door, rushing in, until I spot Eren sitting on my bed, going through one of my sketch books. My sketch books were scattered all over my bed messily and I cringed at the sight.

"Why're you going through my sketch books, shithead?" I asked, not even minding in the slightest that he broke through my window like the rebel he was.

"You don't care that I practically broke into your room? You're a little dense tonight, Levi." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes. I walked over to him as he continued to flip through the photos, and he blushed at a certain drawing. Oh no-don't tell me he's flipping through the book from three years ago...

"Is this...me?" He asked, looking up at me. I paused and my cheeks warmed up quickly, and I cleared my throat, and looked away quickly.

"Yeah." I said quietly. He let out another one of his girlish laughs and I swore my cheeks went warmer.

"It's really good. I never knew you drew so well, Levi. When was this, anyways?!" His cheeks were toning down, but his eyes were wide with anxiety.

"It was when we went to the lake three years ago."

"The school trip?! When I pushed Annie in and we both got detention for a whole month?!" His eyes went wide with wonder and awe.

"Yeah." I examined the photo and I was struck by the great detail I added, like the freckles on his skin and the length of his eyelashes. He was asleep on the bus, and the bus ride was a long one, for we went to a lake in a different city for a science trip. I just really liked how peaceful he looked, so I drew him. I never saw him so peaceful In his life. I never really looked back on old sketches, usually when I was done a sketch / book, I'd just put it where all my books were kept, and I'd never look at it again. I forgot all about these, but memories were brought back as Eren continued to flip through them.

"That's enough, we have to go, don't we?" I quickly grabbed the book from his hands and closed it, and picked all the others off of the bed, then placing them back in their places.

"Yeah, but um...where do you wanna go, anyways?" I turned and looked at Eren, who sat with the excellent innocent puppy dog face he possessed. I just looked at him with no expression, but inside I was going crazy. _Really, Eren? I have to do all the work, don't I?_

"Surprise me." I mumbled, and he nodded, knowing i'll accept no other request.

* * *

 

He pulled into a forest entrance off of a highway I've never been on before, and at first I was filled with anxiety. A dark ass forest, alone with one of the most clumsiest people I've ever met? Not so safe. If we were to be attacked in there, he'd probably accidentally slip on his own weapon and kill himself. Oddly though, he's much more productive when he's drunk or high. I've learned from experience. He grabbed a large duffle bag from the backseat and a flashlight from the glove compartment. I furrowed my brows in confusion as I looked over at him, and he chuckled.

"I'm not going to murder you, don't worry! Just follow me, and stay by my side at all times until we reach the destination, okay?" I still cringed in confusion at him, silently, but listened to him anyways.

He led me through paths that were pretty secretive and I started to wonder what exactly was in that duffle bag of his, but brushed off the thought as he led me to a large open space, with an uneven circle of ice plastered slickly in the middle. Logs, you could tell were placed where they were for seats. I gaped at the sight I've never seen before, and he just chuckled as he held my hand. I never even knew he was holding my hand this entire time, but then I remembered how scarily he comforted me, and it didn't really matter anyhow, because it never bothered me anyways.

"Did you plan this?" I asked, looking up at him, he let out a loud exhale of laughter and smiled at the ground."

"Sort of. I guessed that you'd let me choose where to go...you're not really caring type when it comes to dates."

"And how would you know that, you abominable brat?" I raised a brow and he just laughed in response.

"I just do."

For hours on end, he taught me how to skate, and I barely picked up the process the entire tutorial. He held me for most of the time, until I swatted him off of me. He sensed my frustration and laughed in return.

"Having fun?" He asked with a cheeky grin on his face. 

"Don't test me, Jeager." I growled as I slowly shook and slid across the ice, arms sprawled out as I tried to keep my balance. After a while longer, I started to glide across with ease, but not as perfectly as Eren swayed. I watched him for the most part, and I started to ask myself just how this little shit learned how to skate like a professional. He was scarily good on the ice, and from there on out I wondered if he was a true Canadian boy, and that he probably drinks 4 gallons of maple syrup daily. Maybe that's why he laughed so often, he was just always high from an intense sugar rush.

"Are you getting jealous of me, Levi?"

"You wish. I wont waste my anger on your skill."

"Skill? Are you telling me that I'm better than you?"

"Shut your hole and skate, Jeager." He chuckled and swiftly made his way in front on me. As I got startled by his sudden movement and fell back, but took him with me. He yelped as I brought him down with me, and even though I landed less than softly or comfortably, I was pleased with his reaction. I held onto his jacket tightly still, even though he was propped up in place by his elbows and his ass resting on my slightly bent up leg. Our faces were dangerously close and his cheeks were tinted rosy from the cold and his embarrassment. He was always so amusing to watch, because one moment he'd be beating someone up with a thermos in the cafeteria, and the next he'd be blushing oh so vigorously at a kitten licking his nose. He was so gentle but also the opposite. In the middle, like me, but in an oddly different way.

"Sorry, this is...well...I am, uh-" 

"Eren..."

"I mean I'm awkward-not this is awkward. Well it is, but-"

"Eren."

"I-I mean-sorry, sorry I shouldn't have landed on you, that must've hurt. Are you okay?"

"Eren."

"I-huh? Yeah?"

"Shut your trap and kiss me."

"Eh-?" His face went beet red, and I could tell that he was now looking at not only my eyes now, but also my lips. Back and forth, he examined both shakily, with a hint of doubt splattered in his eyes. He was contemplating on whether or not he should've, and gave in immediately as I pulled him down by his collar. He placed his somehow warm lips onto mine almost painfully, as we both leaned in hard at the same time. All of his awkward emotions just dissolved away as if they were never there to begin with, and he was now suddenly confident and full of lust. As he deepened the kiss, his eyelashes fluttered gracefully on my cheek and sent shivers down my back. His tongue forcefully entered my mouth without warning and I whimpered childishly at the contact, which made Eren grin and exhale a laugh through the kiss, the vibrations of his muffled chuckle enraging me. 

"Laugh one more time and I'll throw you into my washing machine." I quickly said as I pulled away for a moment, and he just shook his head and rolled his eyes before leaning in one more time. I put my hand on his mouth like the last time we were in the forest (which was last night, actually) and he pouted like a child.

"We can finish this somewhere where we wont get hypothermia." I claimed, and he just pouted even more. I took my hand off of his mouth for a moment before pecking his lips and pushing him off.

"Don't be a whiner." He accepted my insult and followed my orders.

We rushed to the car, still once in a while giving sloppy kisses whenever we could-stop signs, stop lights, waiting to turn. Of course we still kissed while in the drive thru of Tim Hortons, even though people waiting in the twisty line around us stared. God, did i ever hate twisty lines. There was someone always on the other side staring at you with so much judgement in their eyes. We couldn't help it, we were so drawn to each other, and neither of us knew exactly why. Every problem of the past was thrown aside (and my dignity along with it) and neither of us actually cared anyhow.

When we got back to Eren's, we both rushed inside as quickly as we could, even though we were carrying two boxes of doughnuts and two trays of coffee. He had told me in the car that his sister Mikasa and his cousin Armin were living with him and that it'd only be fair if we got them something too. I didn't mind that part, but the part that worried me the most was the fact that two very close people were in the same house with Eren, who in which do not appreciate my presence. Mikasa the most, Armin was never really the aggressive type.

"Don't worry, they're playing GTA 5 in the living room. They don't fuck around with their GTA." Eren smiled and winked, taking what food was ours and leading me into his room, which was upstairs, right next to Mikasa's, last time I checked Armins bedroom was in the attic. He had an odd fear of being in the basement, Eren told me once. He lived in the same house he had been since he was young, the only difference was that his parents weren't around, but it's not like they were before, his fuckass dad especially. When I walked in I was sparked by the cleanliness, and Eren laughed at my expression, which was a hint of surprise mixed with approval, and I suspected that that was what he wanted. He was always cleanly around me, since we were young. He knew that I hated messes, and for some reason he always helped me with messes, like my life for example.

I sat cross-legged on Eren's bed while sipping on my coffee less than gracefully, frozen hands admiring the scolding hot surface. Eren sat beside me and drank his coffee while scrolling through whatever he was captivated with on his phone. I put my coffee in my lap for a moment and leant over quickly, lifting his chin up and kissing him softly. I couldn't help myself. He tasted of Candy Canes and sweet coffee, and I wanted more of the taste, but I knew that I had to settle down. My teenage hormones would take over me for the rest of the night until it'd me hard the next morning. Even though I loved Eren a lot, that definitely did not mean I should just screw him immediately. We still had a lot of things to go over, a lot of things to cover and do before anything too big happened. We were just starting to get comfortable with each other again, it has been three years.

Eren's eyes were opened for a moment before he realized that the proper thing to do would be to close them, and he pulled away just to leave small pecks over and over. He smiled quickly and continued planting soft repetitive kisses that started to get longer. The door creaked a low uneasy sound, but we both didn't stop until Mikasa cleared her throat awkwardly. Eren pulled away quickly and went beet red as Mikasa stared in awkward embarrassment at the door. She looked off to the side and avoided all eye contact with us.

"Uhh...welcome home, Eren. Levi." She looked back but looked at me almost apologetically. She looked at Eren before exhaling loudly before speaking again.

"I haven't seen you in days, Eren. When I saw your shoes, I just..."

"It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow don't worry." He gave her a smile and she was surprised at the sight. Did he act different, usually? She was giving an expression that gave the impression that he was barely that friendly with her. Mikasa looked over to me with the same expression, then whispered "okay." before closing the door and leaving us be.


End file.
